The “D” of BDSM (Bondage, Domination, Sadism, Masochism).
But, don’t worry. This writeup is not related to sexuality or kink. You can take that route if you want to, but what we really need to focus on is the relationship.
Do you also see that there is no mention of Submission, or the Submissive in the above term? Was that by design? Or is the Submissive not important at all?
These are one of the questions I need you to ask yourself when creating your characters. Please realize, the characters are more important, so the story can take a step back.
Describe a scene, an instance, maybe even write a whole story, but break your shackles about this world. This is not about handcuffs, whips, leather & heels.
Explore the grey areas (pun not intended). Does your dominant need to be extremely dominant, or your submissive need to be a slave? Is it only comprised of hard, tough emotions?
Do realize that D/S exists around you too. That all controlling husband or wife, those are dominants in a true sense, even if they don’t explore it in kinky ways. A dom/domme cannot survive without their sub. It’s the devotion of the latter, which feeds the former. And yet, the degree varies, the intensity varies.
“The inner conflict and surrender connected with dominance and submission are enduring themes in human culture and civilization. In human sexuality, this has broadened to include mutual exploration of roles, emotions, and activities that would be difficult or impossible to act out without a willing partner taking an opposing role.”
Use these as prompts / scenarios for building your relationships.
- Hard Domination: Very restrictive dominant, highly suppressed submissive. Their love is close to cruel, and pain is what keeps both of them going.
- Soft Domination: There is less restriction, a sense of freedom. Yet, one calls the shots, the other accepts. Hard to visualize this in sense of BDSM, but its easier to find examples around you.
- Alternating Domination: I feel this might be possible. The strengths and weaknesses of each partner shifts their Dominant & Submissive nature as per situations. It becomes hard to create, because one may be assertive, but that may not equate to domination.
Note: Except the quote above, rest are my own thoughts on this personality/relationship type. Please do educate me if you have any alternative ideas or corrections.